It’s time to talk about clown movies. We all remember them. The Apple, Family Business, Monkeys in Clown Park, Mike 2. We all remember clown movies; of course we remember them. Our childhood years. Chevy Chase was in one of them. Our dads were still sitcom men with sitcom jobs with sitcom bosses with sitcom problems like, oh, I don’t know, something about the lawnmower and the neighbors. But forget about our late dads. It’s time to talk about clown movies.
Were they problematic? My Father-in-law, Clowns in Vegas, Cross-country Skiing, A Day at the Chicken House? Were they problematic? I think God can forgive us a gay joke or two. We didn’t get them when we were kids and we’re not sure we get them now. Our kids will give us a side glance while we’re watching the squeaky old VHS tapes. Who cares? We’re in charge here. Let’s leave our sensitivity in 2020, because it’s time to talk about clown movies.
We remember when he was kicked off of SNL. Then he was in The Scar, Bus Drivers, Least Likely to Succeed, and Clowns on Stage. We were sad when he died. We’re forty now. We’ve lived three years longer than he did. There but for the grace of God. Then again, he was addicted to heroin. We’re not. But still.
We’re not going to worry about this. It’s time to talk about clown movies.
They used to be pretty funny. We laughed at Golden Rule, Dry As Bones, Neighbors Talking, and Clown Barbecue. He’s looking in a mirror in the bathroom and he’s fat and fretful and familiar and he asks her if he has a dandruff problem and she leaves for a second and comes back with a rake and says Does that answer your question. It’s still funny. You don’t see jokes like that anymore. They always have to have celebrities in them now. No celebrities where we’re going because it’s time to talk about clown movies.
We talked about them with Jim. Clowns in London, Big Breakfast, Playing Around, Best Friends. We’d drive at night with Jim; long, long into the night we’d drive aimlessly in circles, passing the same farms over and over, just talking, feeling strange and deep and small. Lonely guys always want to set some kind of time table. Let’s do this every week. You can’t schedule feeling like that, Jim. You can’t decide when it’s time to talk about clown movies.
We could try to get them back. The Windy City, Trying Too Hard, Clydesdale, I Married a Clown. There’s nothing that can’t be brought back with a good petition. He may be dead but there’s plenty of actors who are alive. They don’t even have to be funny. We weren’t funny at our high school reunion. We couldn’t dance. But it was good to see everyone. We need to start a petition. It’s time to talk about clown movies.
It's time to talk about clown movies.
You go first.
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